I feel like I’ve had to claw my way here with my (non-existent) fingernails, but I’m graduating!
So many times have lectures, medical professionals, counsellors, parents and friends told me to just drop out (I’ve honestly lost count)…but I made it.
Sure, I’m a little worse for wear, but I made it.
I know everyone had my best interests at heart when they suggested I leave Uni, but it was never an option for me. I have this incessant pressure that I admittedly put on myself to never fail, totally something I’m going to work on.
Which nicely leads me onto my plans for this coming year. Obviously, I had that kidney stone, and it fell right in the middle of all my coursework deadlines and end of year exams, so I’m graduating in December rather than this August. I was accepted into my Master’s programme months ago, and was (again) advised to put it off a year until I could get my health in order, and I wasn’t going to, but now I don’t have a choice. I can’t start a degree without finishing my last one.
But I’m expected to get a 1st class degree, and I’m happy that I can still achieve that despite all that’s happened medically for me.
Now to start the journey towards a better me…
In the 9 months off from Uni my aim is to try my very hardest to get myself back into a good place. I have the time now, and hopefully the energy as well; starting with getting back into exercise, hopefully, martial arts again. A lovely instructor reached out to me whilst I was recovering from my stone, and I was so frazzled and overwhelmed that I didn’t reply at the time…but I think I can now. I would love to get back into it, and I really think I need this.
I’m not religious, despite my upbringing, but I can be spiritual, and right now I feel like my soul needs a refresh and restart…kinda like a reboot after a PC update.
I want to start the journey to being the best me I can be, the best version of myself, and first things first, is to acknowledge the issues I’m having. Maybe I’ll write about some of them in detail, or my past with them if anyone thinks it would help them, it might even help me to get some of it out. I’ll jot them below;
Diagnosed and Dealing With;
- Aspergers (obviously xD),
- Chronic Stress,
- Patience and Anger Problems,
- Vaso Vagal Episodes,
- Sensory Processing Difficulties,
- Proprioceptive Difficulties,
- Chronic Deficiencies,
- Urticaria and Angioedema (autoimmune disorders),
- Muscle Wastage,
- Joint and Muscle Pain,
- Kidney Stone and Hydration Issues,
- Icepick Headaches, Migraines, and Tension Headaches.
Currently under investigation:
- Has my previous Rheumatoid factor positive gone from being asymptomatic to symptomatic?
- Autoimmune disorders worsening?
- Where to go now in terms of Anxiety and Depression; tried every medication, on max dosage of the one that worked best for me, but still not functioning at a normal everyday level?
- Joints are incredibly weak, only maintaining muscle in my legs and slightly in my abdomen. Shoulders, back, and all joints have lost much muscle mass. Why?
There’s probably something I’ve missed -there always is- but that’s a good place to start I think.
Let me know if you want me to talk about anything!
Have a great day everyone,